


Four times Sungyoon tells Jangjun he loves him

by gippeunancho



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, AxA, M/M, Very subtle omegaverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:47:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25670800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gippeunancho/pseuds/gippeunancho
Summary: Basically four times Sungyoon tells Jangjun he loves him."The fourth time Sungyoon tells Jangjun he loves him, he also accepts to let him go."
Relationships: Choi Sungyoon | Y/Lee Jangjun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	Four times Sungyoon tells Jangjun he loves him

**Author's Note:**

> sucker me has come back with a dramatic angsty jangyoon!! this features alpha!sungyoon and his strong princess, alpha!jangjun because i think an axa relationship is interesting! yet, just a small warning that this doesn't end too well with both of them im sorry;;;; so proceed with caution! have fun reading!

The first time Sungyoon says I love you, the seven-year old him has just finished a crappy movie stacked in a cheap CD he got from his mother’s bookshelf. He is too young that time to know how impactful the words mean, but he likes how it rolls off his tongue and how the actress’s face lights up when the actor says the words. He cannot stop chanting those words aloud. He says it to his parents, his sister, his grandparents and even his neighbors. He likes how they break into a smile when he affectionately says I love you, and thinks that he should give it out more, because he likes it when people are happy with his words.

His favorite reaction, though, is from a cute boy next door. The boy has a name that suits him, Lee Changjun- bright and rising tall. He is younger by 2 years and is literally a ball of sunshine who emanates warmth and vitamin D to anyone near him. Sungyoon enjoys playing around with this one the most as compared to the shady scary peers he has around his neighborhood.

The first time he tells Jangjun he loves him, Sungyoon still knows nothing about love. He simply thinks the said boy’s gloomy face after a nasty fall will light up with the usual bright smile if he says it, like how his parents often do. _I love you_ , Sungyoon remembers saying it pointblank to dumbfounded Changjun. He doesn’t get the smile he expects, however, but rather a reaction that ripples his heart even more. The previously crying boy chuckles with blushes, then he cutely repeats the word, and shyly asks, _will you marry me one day then._

Sungyoon is, at the very least, grinning with enthrallment when he mutters a firm _of course_.

The next time Sungyoon says I love you to Changjun- now Jangjun, he gets a Jangjun in his life.

Adolescent Sungyoon has kicked the habit of saying I love you flippantly as he realizes the hefty weight of the said phrase . He cannot love the whole world, and the whole world cannot love him. Thus, he would refrain from using love in every situation possible, hoping it can get him away from undesired responsibility.

That does not mean he doesn’t love anyone. In fact, he does. He does love this person for as long as he remembers. It stems from nowhere. Or maybe it does, from times when that person, although younger, protects him in silly fights, or times when they sleep so peacefully on his bed after enthusiastically running around in his room, or even further to that time when they shyly ask him, will you marry me then. He can’t pinpoint when looking at the younger starts to give his stomach butterflies, but it has been there for a long time, repressed in his heart without a chance to be muttered out due to this cowardice.

The second time Sungyoon tells Jangjun he loves him, Sungyoon knows a little about love, but it’s enough to tell him he wants Jangjun for his dear life.

Being a 20 year old adult, Sungyoon has just recently found out that he is actually an Alpha but has yet to experience his first rut. The rumor has it that the first rut is often the most disastrous as his common sense will nearly be paralyzed should he catch a whiff of an Omega. So on that day when he feels abnormal mood swings, he deliberately takes a day off and locks himself at home away from the temptation. Diving under the blanket, Sungyoon cannot think of anything else beside the boy next door- his face, his hands, his voice, and even the fervent breath he let out when he lied on this bed sound asleep. 

So when the actual clueless boy shows up on his threshold, he suspects he is going to lose his mind. 

And maybe he did, because when he regains his senses, the boy he holds dear to his heart is already panting under his firm grasps, his strong built body is tainted with angry looking bruises. Sungyoon does not have to think twice before reaching a despicable conclusion. It's still fortunate that the boy is yet to be categorized thus he couldn't mark him, or else Sungyoon will just kill himself out of guiltiness. 

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Jangjun-ah." Sungyoon retracts his hands as if they have just been electrified by the younger's smooth skin. He is eaten by both guilt and the excitement of the pheromones rushing through his veins at the same time. Sungyoon closes his eyes to calm the beast inside down. He cannot even meet the younger's eyes- he fears what he may see in that clear pair of obs. 

"I-it's alright hyung." With the hoarse voice comes a slender hand that reaches up to wipe away Sungyoon's silent tears. He does not know his face is full of silent tears until the hand dusts them off. He is led to look at the younger, now sitting up to meet his eye level. There are thousands of emotions written beneath it, and Sungyoon finds himself charmed again for the umpteenth time. He lets out a breath then tremblingly embraces the younger in a shaky hug. He whispers in the younger’s earlobe like how he always does in his dream. _Sorry, Jangjun, but I love you._

The very same sentence that used to make the younger beam so wide now again ignites the radiant chuckle. That summer, Sungyoon learns saying I love you to the right person and getting reciprocated is probably the reason that makes the said word so sacred.

The next time Sungyoon says I love you, it has been another couple of years. 

Now 4 years together, ‘I love you’ is not as often muttered as he thought it would be. It's not like he does not say I love you to his boyfriend, yet, somehow it feels like the sincerity of the word mitigates, so he stops using it. But you have to know, Sungyoon still loves Jangjun a lot. He may not be the type to express well, but this love is a soft spot in his heart, rejuvenating him in hard times and keeping him alive. Sungyoon loves the boy so much that he cannot let him go. 

Even when Jangjun’s categorization result revealed that they were both Alphas and couldn't be together, or even when their family opposed them, he still cannot let Jangjun go. 

Love between Alphas is seen as lunatic taboo, and is worse than love between men. In times when people try in vain to breed excellent offspring which can only be birthed with the joint effort of an Alpha and an Omega, love between two Alphas cut off the process. No children will be born out of this relationship. The categorization of Jangjun shreds the engagement between Lee and Choi family apart, and he is forced to leave Sungyoon. 

At first they fought hard for their freedom as lovers. They moved in a flat and took care of each other in secret, hoping the sincerity can melt their parents' hearts. Yet, however hard they tried, they could not run away from their filial duty for good. 

They resign to meeting each other less, then to meeting other Omegas to satisfy the parents’ expectations. Their time together is lessened to a 7 hour sleep on the bed where Sungyoon simply puts his hand under the younger’s head while he hugs his waist, both hearts laden with tiredness from work, family and even this love. 

When Sungyoon realizes he hasn’t told Jangjun he loved him lately, he goes on to search for a time to properly tell him again. He feels oddly insecure, and wants to express himself again. Sungyoon doesn’t expect saying such words can be that painful one day.

That one day, drunk Sungyoon is having an argument with his beloved. The silly fight is probably over the Omega the younger saw him with. They throw hurtful doubts and knifelike words towards each other, hoping the other can feel the excruciating pain as what they are enduring now. 

“Whatever! I’m going out.” Jangjun forcibly wears his leather jacket and stomps to the door. 

Sungyoon sighs in desperation, knowing this will lead nowhere if the younger cuts off the fight without solving it firsthand.  
“Baby, I’m sorry. Don’t leave me alone tonight.” Sungyoon embraces the younger’s hand in his. For some unknown reasons, he feels uneasy as this man retreats out of the door. Something tells his sense that if he lets go, he will regret it. 

Jangjun turns back to face the man only to find his irritation vanish into thin air. He signs, then hugs the man he loves so much. _This man will forever be my weakness_ , he thinks.

“I promised to hang out with my friends though. I have to go. I promise you to be back by midnight, alright?” 

“Isn’t your rut near? And drinking with an empty stomach can worsen your stomache.” Sungyoon tries to cling to something, _anything_.

“I will take care of it, don’t worry. I’ve gotta go now. Don’t stay up for me!” Jangjun caresses his boyfriend’s hand in reassurance. 

Sungyoon hesitantly relinquishes his grip. He fiddles with words as the younger opens the door.

“Hey Jangjun, I lov-” _Slams._ “-Love you…” Sungyoon stares dumbfoundedly at the oak door that fiercely intervenes in his confession. 

The third time Sungyoon tells Jangjun he loves him, it has been such a long time since the last one that it feels weird rolling out of his tongue. Yet the confession gets cut mid-sentence, but he thinks he will acquaint himself with doing it more so that Jangjun will know how much he treasures him everyday.

The fourth time Sungyoon says I love you to Jangjun, it is at the younger’s wedding with another Omega he barely knows. 

Sungyoon is sitting on the couch in the groom’s dressing room, hazy eyes never leaving the groom standing in front of the full body mirror. Jangjun looks outstandingly handsome adorned by a smart black suit. The light behind his back is probably too bright because Sungyoon finds his eyes blurry again. 

Jangjun turns back to face the man he has loved dearly. He shakily sits down and brings the wide palm of the man to embrace his wet cheek. The man beneath angrily grasps his hand and reverses their position on the couch. They angrily kiss and bite on patches of skin hidden to other people as if it is the last time they can bask in their lover’s scent. Sadly, it really _is_.

“I shouldn’t have believed you!” Sungyoon leaves a bite on Jangjun’s lower collarbone and sighs into the crook of his neck.

“I’m sorry. It’s my fault.” Jangjun cries. 

Sungyoon looks at the shaky figure in his arms. That morning he also embraced him like this. Was it that unfamiliar, like how he feels right now? Sungyoon doesn’t know anymore.

That morning, Sungyoon woke up to an empty side- clear sign that Jangjun didn’t return home yesterday. An hour later, Jangjun was finally home, but his state cut him off his usual _“Morning, love”_ greeting. Unbuttoned shirts, disheveled hair, puffy eyes full with confusions and some hickeys around his neck. Something in him snapped when he caught a whiff of Omega’s pheromone entangling with the younger’s strong scent. _It can’t be... Please say something Jangjun-ah?_

He never hated the younger’s silence that much.

“I was foolish and I hurt you. I am sorry hyung. I am a despicable filthy being.” Jangjun has his head on Sungyoons’ shoulder and grips on the groomsmen’s tux, pulling him out of the heart-crushing memory. 

Sungyoon pushes Jangjun a little so that the man now faces him. He gently combs through the slightly disheveled hair. 

“I have imagined you being this stunning in a groom’s tuxedo, ever since you were 5. Our groom is quite handsome.” Sungyoon gives a small smile as he scans the younger again. Be it his or not his, the younger is always outstanding.

“And no, I was foolish to let you go too.” Sungyoon says as he sadly caresses the groom’s cheek. There are barely any minutes left before the ceremony starts, thus the dressing room is bereft of anyone except for the two of them. 

“I’m sorry.” Jangjun mutters again, tears dried up as he wants to meticulously take in every image of the gentle man in front of him now.

“If you’re sorry- Please live happily.” Sungyoon smiles and places a kiss on the younger’s forehead.  
“And I will, too.” The kiss falls on his noses.

“And I have something to say. Please listen to it carefully.” The two lips meet in gentleness. Their tongues dance together to a soundless tone of immense regret and unwillingness to let go. 

“I love you.” When they slowly pull away, Sungyoon whispers into the younger ears, hoping the words will carve themselves in the younger’s heart for as long as it would, because he will no longer be in the position to say it anymore in 2 more minutes. 

“I love you more.” Jangjun laughs silently and wipes away the tear stain as the piano signals the start of the ceremony.

Idiot. I love you even more than you can imagine. Looking at the straight reliable back of the younger slowly approaching his eternal partner, Sungyoon releases a shaky breath and, for the first time in ages, lets a tear slip past his cheek. 

The fourth time Sungyoon tells Jangjun he loves him, he also accepts to let him go.

**Author's Note:**

> (i may or may not plan on making an omegaverse series...)  
> from the start to the end they have never stopped loving each other and i think that's the most beautiful thing about their relationship :'> thank you for reading till here <3 this author might be bad but pls gives lots of love to jangyoon <3


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